Despite Rumors, Feet Week Is Still On, Says Dude With A Fetish

Jose Canseco Tweet

“‘ancient gravity was much weaker’ during the time of the dinosaurs, which allowed for their massive and nimble size.”

Ex-drugged out baseball players keeping it real

Marbles, Puppy Bowl’s Quarterback Comes Out In Support of Gay Marriage

Marbles, a straight Terrier and the leagues leading quarterback, sends shock waves through a mostly homophobic Puppy Bowl community. 

I often shape my self in to a big spoon when riding the subway; hoping that if the train stops suddenly, i’ll fly in to an unsuspecting small spoon shaped person, and create the perfect snuggle

I Shat My Pants Yesterday

Got super sick, and as a result, the DeBackerbutt Factory went offline for a few hours. During the technical shutdown process, chaos ensued. In a panic, workers accidently mislabeled a poop as a fart, and that’s when all hell broke loose. The lil’ poop got shipped to the hanger door, and before anyone knew it, was air expressed for speedy underpants delivery (yes, I shit myself). Luckily, only my ego was harmed. And I’m happy to say - 5 Vitamin Waters and 2 days of rest later, I’m better.

*Investigations in to the DeBackerbutt accident are underway. Some say it was the fried chicken beer combo, others point to sabotage from within. But whatever the cause, please know, I’m safe to visit. 

Merry Santamas and safe travels to all your holiday destinations.

Closer look reveals coat in corner of room actually just a really scary man