God Bless America

A quote pulled from hollywood.com about the Chris Brown/Rihanna situation

“’He will do his best, man. I mean, he’s a guy at heart. But he did drop [Karrueche] for Ri and told Ri he loves her so what that tell you? He will try to be faithful to Ri – as faithful as he can to her. He ain’t trying to hurt her feelings. He ain’t trying to get her all twisted up either. He know she right for him,’ our source says.”


Trojan Adds New Condom To Lineup

Trojan guarantees new condoms to be 100% effective in keeping others from wanting to have sex with you. Spokesperson: “Each box to include photo of Kevin’s sad, Star Wars themed bedroom

What I Imagine My Missed Connection Would Look Like

Sun Afternoon

We both got off at Lorimer

I saw you look my way, then quickly dart your eyes up to the Dr Zizmor ad - pretending to be interested in foot botox

I tried to return eye contact, but you never looked my way again.. not once

Are you gay?

You can’t be. I mean, u were wearing a hideous wolf shirt, and sloppily eating an orange. Or was it a guava? Anyway, some of the fruit was on your shirt. And those god-awful sandals. Are those Jesus Cruisers? Yipes

I went to say hi (not even sure why at this point), but you stood up at the Lorimer stop, snapped your mid-chest backpack straps together, and jogged away singing some 90’s country jam

Let’s grab a drink!