KEVIN DEBACKER

Beyond the shadowlands in a world of light, a unicorn pranced with a pegasus.  Soon after, their foal was born: a bright unipegacorn.  So it was that this unipegacorn loved to travel, being able to transcend the shadows and the sky.  After some years, the unipegacorn wandered into the land of the wild, where she befriended a moose.

The moose was clearly not an ordinary moose - it was a rainbow moose.  Just as the unipegacorn was brought into existence by a magical twist of fate, so too was the rainbow moose born.  The rainbow moose was born at the precise moment after a rainstorm, right where a rainbow met the ground.  And in that moment, magic burst through the universe and created the rainbow moose.  Two such strong magical creatures were surely meant to find each other, pulled together by the same magic that created them.  The strength of the pull nearly ripped the universe in half, but just when things were bleakest, a new life was brought out of their union:  the rainbow unipegamoose.

This extraordinary creature burst forth into the universe, fully grown, but sadly at a great cost.  The rainbow moose and the unipegacorn were destroyed at the exact moment the rainbow unipegamoose tore through the fabric of space and time.  And even though the rainbow unipegamoose was fully grown, he still had the heart and mind of a foal.  For many years, he was content to play in the wild where he entered the world, unaware of his many magical abilities, but learning some of them by pure coincidence.

The land of man was soon to interfere with the life of the rainbow unipegamoose, for man cannot stand to let the wild remain untamed. It had been a scarce two years since being brought forth to this dimension that man had his first encounter with the rainbow unipegamoose.  Man was hunting in the wild for new creatures; he needed new and exciting things to kill and display for his fellow man.  One man, Chris, had already captured the Yeti and skinned the Loch Ness Monster (out of which he made MANY boots, and doubled his fortune).

Chris found the rainbow unipegamoose using his powers to make flowers change color, and race butterflies as he flew (the rainbow unipegamoose always allowed the butterflies to win, for he was a kind rainbow unipegamoose).  Chris was conniving and soon thought of a trap for the rainbow unipegamoose, one that would capture him alive! For Chris wanted the rainbow unipegamoose as the main act in his new circus.

Chris took many weeks as he carefully laid his trap, which was unfortunately too cunning for the rainbow unipegamoose, and trapped him.  Chris soon was making hand over fist in his circus as he charged people to see the rainbow unipegamoose.

This was a very dark time for the rainbow unipegamoose.  Although it was in his power to easily escape from the confines Chris’ circus, he did not know how to use his abilities.  The rainbow unipegamooose was still woefully young, was exploited by Chris, and feared by the other animals of the circus.  Those animals that did not avoid him from fear avoided him out of sheer animal stupidity, and the rainbow unipegamoose was quite alone.

This depression began to affect the rainbow unipegamoose’s once vibrant coloring.  Chris tried everything he could think of - except for letting the him go - to try to change the colors back to their original skittle-like state.  Chris was one of those lucky bastards of the world for whom everything always seems to work out, and what follows is no different.  A big fan of the booger sugar, Chris used the circus to circulate the goods wherever he traveled.  The fateful day arrived where Chris left a brick open in front of the rainbow unipegamoose; a sample from Chris’ overlord of the next batch of goods.  Still being a curious and young creature, the rainbow unipegamoose investigated this strange white powder…

…and the effect was instaneous.  Color burst forth from the rainbow unipegamoose with such vibrancy, he was almost too much to look at. Chris came in a few minutes later, the kaleidoscope of color of the rainbow unipegamoose enough dimmed at this point to prevent blindness; but it was apparent: the coke was key.  What made Chris even happier was that the rainbow unipegamoose was clearly enjoying the booger sugar.  It was a solution for Chris that required little effort other than making sure the rainbow unipegamoose was always well supplied.

The days that followed were dark indeed.  The more blow the rainbow unipegamoose consumed, the brighter and better he performed, but the more he lost himself.  Lost in a swirling snowstorm, it was actually a rain storm that saved the rainbow unipegamoose’s life.  Not realizing the power of the rainbow for the rainbow unipegamoose, Chris had the rainbow unipegamoose fly through the rainbow after the storm, thinking it would awe the crowd.  The gasp that ran through the crowd as the rainbow unipegamoose disappeared reverberated through Chris’ mind for the rest of his life.

The rainbow was a gateway, and the moment the rainbow unipegamoose entered it, instinct took over and he transported himself to a far away wood where another rainbow was just fading.  This far away wood was well secluded from man, and here the rainbow unipegamoose wandered.  Severe withdrawal soon began to be a problem - how could he cope without coke??  Magical creatures are not prone to the same whims and fancies as mortal creatures, and it was instinct that yet again saved the rainbow unipegamoose on the day he ate the magic mushrooms.  In mortal creatures, like man, magic mushrooms create a high; are a drug.  For magical creatures, magic mushrooms are also a drug: but a healing drug.  After consuming the ‘shrooms, the rainbow unipegamoose was clean and healthier than he had ever been.

The time that passed next was a happy time.  The rainbow unipegamoose began to question and explore his own abilities.  Chasing butterflies, turning flowers different colors, flying — these were all nothing compared to the new things the rainbow unipegamoose learned.  Tree climbing was soon the rainbow unipegamoose’s favorite activity, and he would spend hours up all kinds of trees in all kinds of forests and parks all over creation.  The small wooded park in an area very close to man is where the rainbow unipegamoose fell in love.  He was up a tree one day when he saw a pair of bright eyes and a bushy tail - and that was all it took.  He was horn over hoof in love.  He followed this creature, this Racoon, for days.

Finally, the Racoon grew weary.  She asked why the rainbow unipegamoose was following her, and he confessed his love.  The Racoon was shocked; how could such as this love her?  It wasn’t natural, surely.  But racoons are vain creatures, and she allowed his flattery to continue.  She led him to her favorite place to eat and her favorite tree to climb, a place she told him was called “Scott’s house”.  The rainbow unipegamoose was impressed, and wanted to leave this “Scott” a present to show good will.  Two days the rainbow unipegamoose left his present in the yard of “Scott” - both times in the exact same place; he wanted to be sure “Scott” got it. Unfortunately, the gifts of those of the magical realm are often lost on the mortals, especially human ones.  “Scott” did not appreciate the gift, and the rainbow unipegacorn was saddened - but glad this “Scott” did not try to capture him as Chris had.

Soon the racoon tired of sharing her tree and her yard, and bade the rainbow unipegamoose to go and never return.  Never is a very long time, but the rainbow unipegamoose agreed.  Heartbroken, he found he did not have the will to fly or to follow the rainbows.  In this dark and broken hour, the rainbow unipegacorn discovered shadow travel. This new set of travel took him to the home of his ancestors: the shadowlands…

…and in this place we lose what has happened to the rainbow unipegamoose.  We hope he is happy; perhaps he has found his grandparents, and is learning new skills?  But until the rainbow unipegamoose decides to return to the land of mortals, we know no more of him.

— From the genius mind of my cousin Laura Voglesong & probably a little help from her cats